These days, my mental state oscillates most frequently between auto-pilot, imposter-syndrome and panic-mode. Regardless of how prepared or unprepared I am, it feels like a rug is constantly being pulled out from underneath me. Even at this point of experience in my career, I didn’t fully realize how much being thrown into a new, chaotic environment would take a toll on me — even after working relentlessly to try and keep the chaos at bay. Sometimes, the stress and unexcepted issues seem to reach levels of sheer absurdity, and my frequently dissociated self can’t seem to do anything else except watch and laugh, laugh, laugh (e.g. being 30 seconds away from leaving for the night when someone accidentally breaks the primary pharmacy gate, forcing an emergency service call and an additional 3+ hours of work after close).
But at least once a day, I try to acknowledge the moments that keep me going:
- Sincere thank you’s from patients and customers
- Shared laughs with coworkers
- Being able to play and share music I enjoy
- Fresh air during a walking commute home
At the end of the day, gratitude can truly keep the heart beating.
Scraps and Progression 